A Heartfelt Plea to the Makers of Lee Jeans and Lee Riders Clothing Lines

Dear Sirs,

I must tell you how much I absolutely LOVE your new "Instantly Slims You" collection of casual-wear. The princess darts on the polo shirts are attractive as well as slimming, and the tummy panels in the shorts and capris really do the trick without feeling tight or binding in anyway.

I am also a HUGE fan of your new "Comfort No-Gap Waistband". I have had trouble all of my life with my waistbands gapping at the small of my back and your new waistbands truly live up to their name. I feel comfortable and gap-less whenever I pull on my burmuda-length cargo shorts. So, I thank you.

However, I do have one small request...

Could you possibly, by any chance, put them both in the same garments???? I must choose each morning whether to be "Instantly Slim" or "Comfortably Gapless", and it is not an easy choice, my friends. If I could be both, I'd be most appreciative, and would sing your praises here on the world-wide-web with utter and reckless abandon.

Sincerely,
The Lady of the House of Kids and Cakes
(where both "instant slimming" and "comfortable gaplessness" are dire necessities.)